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5 Love Languages

This week we will be talking about how to love our significant other. There are 5 Love Languages that describe how people love and want to be loved. The 5 Love Languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. I personally love through Giving Gifts and want to receive love through Physical Touch and Quality Time. Now it is time to dive deeper into what each of these Love Languages mean.

Words of Affirmation

Words of Affirmation is expressing affection through spoken affection, praise or appreciation.

Acts of Service

Acts of Service is doing something for your significant other without being asked.

Receiving Gifts

Receiving Gifts is giving your significant a gift of any size to let them feel loved.

Quality Time

Quality Time is spending one on one time together with your significant other.

Physical Touch

Physical Touch is being touched by tour significant other. i.e. hugs, holding hands, cuddling, etc.

Words of Affirmation


Words of Affirmation is expressing affection through spoken affection, praise or appreciation. If your love language is Words of Affirmation, you need to hear "I love you," "You look beautiful today," "Thank you for doing the laundry," etc. Words are so important to how we want to be loved that insults, negative conversations destroy us.


How to Love

Only say what you truly mean. You should always be able to genuinely be able to say something positive about your significant other. If not, you need to reconsider how you are living your life with them. Take time out of the day and really focus and reflect on how you view your significant other. Acknowledge the small things and the big things, acknowledge the obvious things and the subtle things. Compliment, encourage, and appreciate multiple times a day. A couple of ways to show love through words of affirmation include spoken words, texts, love note, hand written letters, cards, etc. Compliment, encourage, appreciate, empathize with, respect, admire, acknowledge, express, or speak kind words frequently.

Acts of Service


Acts of Service is doing something for your significant other without being asked. It does not matter the service, whether big or small, can really make the an Acts of Service person's day. If your love language is Acts of Service, you wand to hear "Let me do that for you" or "Can I help you with that?" Laziness and broken promises destroy you.

How to Love

Actions truly speak louder than words for our Acts of Service significant others. From making dinner to planning a date, these acts of service truly make a difference. You need to first ask your significant other what acts of service means to them and how to best demonstrate acts of service to them. It's the little things that matter the most. Picking up your shoes, helping with dishes, making the bed, toss their towel in the dryer when they get in the shower so that they have a warm towel when they get out, etc. It is important that both you and your significant other understand that you are not their servant but instead someone that wants them to feel loved. "Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love."

Receiving Gifts


Receiving Gifts is giving your significant a gift of any size to let them feel loved. This love language is NOT materialism (a tendency to consider material possessions and physical comfort as more important than spiritual values). You want to receive gifts that are sentimental, thoughtful, and loving. You are not seeking new designer handbags regularly or the top of the line gadgets, but instead you feel loved when your significant other brings you flowers or buys you to dinner. Thoughtful and love filled gifts allow you to feel loved and cared for; they represent love and are treasured for that. Forgetting a holiday, birthday, anniversary, etc. will destroy you.


How to Love

Your significant other is not greedy for wanting to receive gifts and they do not need to be expensive. The gift is to say, "I saw this today and it made me think of you." It can be something that they like/collect, something they mentioned wanting, or something that you think will make their life better. Give them a gift that is truly sentimental. “If you are a saver, you will experience emotional resistance to the idea of spending money as an expression of love. You don’t purchase things for yourself. Why should you purchase things for your spouse? But that attitude fails to recognize that you are purchasing things for yourself. By saving and investing money, you are purchasing self worth and security.”

Quality Time


Quality Time is spending one on one time together with your significant other. Every once in a while this can be seen as needy. We want our significant other to put away the video game controller and give us their individualized attention. Distractions, postponed plans, and not listening will destroy you.


How to Love

Your significant other wants you to be fully present during this quality time. Leave your phone in another room and turn off the TV for dinner. Sit and have a genuine conversation. Try to learn something new about your significant other during this time. Go out and about, take a walk, or go out to an event and spend quality time together in public. Stay home, play a game, or cook together to spend quality time together at home. Get active, go bowling, or go hiking. Take trips, plan events and vacations, schedule date nights, etc. just put the phone down and be fully present.

Physical Touch


Physical Touch is being touched by tour significant other. Hugs, holding hands, cuddling, and thoughtful touches show excitement, care, and love. Physical Touch allows us to feel protection and love. Negative physical touch like hitting and punching will destroy you.

How to Love

Your significant other wants physical touch. This can be both intimate and non-intimate touch that shows your significant other that you love them. Physical touch releases oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone that is associated with empathy, trust, sexual activity, and relationship building. Your significant other wants to hold hands, kiss them on the forehead, rub their back, dance, etc.

Summary


There are 5 different love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. The love language of our spouse is very likely to be different than our own. Use this information to learn how to effectively love one another. When you learn what your significant other needs to feel loved and they understand what you need to feel loved, your relationship grows stronger.


Find out your and your significant other's love language take the quiz here: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/couples/


I also highly recommend purchasing the book for more in depth information. It can be found here: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/book/the-5-love-languages-2/


*all photos by the AMAZING Wilderlove Co. Photogrpahy


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